THE HOLIDAY OF MY PEOPLE IS UPON US (my people are all you fellow shopaholics). Black. Effing. Friday. The day where we push and shove for good deals, the day after we stuffed our faces and give thanks for our family. I look forward to this day ALL YEAR LONG. But we aren’t prepping for the sales yet, no no. That time will come. But first, young grasshoppers, you must be physically and emotionally ready for the madness that is to come.
First, 3 cardinal rules:
- You do not shop on Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is for the three F’s: food, family, and football. You do not shop on Thanksgiving, and you do not support businesses who force those to work and be away from their family on a holiday. The sales will be there Friday. You will wait for them. Note: this does not apply to online sales, so feel free to take a break from the family fighting and buy some things for yourself.
- You will bring a partner(s)
Now, this can be anyone. My partners are my sisters and my mom, and my cousin has recently joined us. This works out well, because we can shop in teams, and always leave someone with my middle sister when she inevitably gets tired after an hour. And then I can leave them when I get frustrated with how DAMN SLOW they walk. This IS a sprint people, lets act like it.
- You will have a game-plan
You NEED TO BE PREPARED. This is essential, and that also means scouting out stores and sales in advance. If you are one of those people who “goes to watch the fights” or just goes with nothing in mind, this will be a failure. There are too many people, and these people just had to deal with their in-laws, and they will fight you if you are in their way. Know what you are looking for. Know what you want to buy and who you are buying for. Know that it is acceptable if they only person you are buying for is you.
Black Friday essentials:
- Small bag, preferably a cross body
I know I know. Normally a tote would make sense. But hear me out. With a cross body, your bag is close to you at all times in the chaos. I️t also provides you with free hands so you can look through piles of clothes, stacks of toys, or passive aggressively navigate your way through the crowds. Plus, you can hold more shopping bags without having to also worry about what hand your bag is in. This black Rebecca Minkoff bag is my FAVORITE. Its big enough to hold all my crap, but tiny enough not to get in everyone’s way when I am maneuvering around them because standing still seems like a good idea to them.
- Fully loaded Starbucks card
This is with the assumption that you’re going to be battling some sort of hangover, whether it be alcohol, food, or family. You’re going to need a lot of caffeine to get through this. Venti, multiple shots, you know the drill.
- A good reliable chapstick
aid chap stick, and not lip gloss. HYDRATION PEOPLE. Hydration is the name of the game. You don't need some sticky gloss getting all over the sweater you want to buy that you had to pull out of that mountain of clothes on the table. My favorite, which I have talked about before, is the Dior Addict Lip Glow Color Reviver. Yes I know, it looks like a gloss. But it is a really moisturizing lip color that also reacts with your natural lip color. Hydration AND cute, wins all around.
- iPhone power pack
Ok ok I lied a little about this being a sprint – it is also a marathon. If you do it right, this is gonna be a long day. All our iPhone batteries suck, its part of the price we pay in exchange for our souls to Apple every single year. I use this Mophie. It works pretty well, but you can also get one of those cheap ones for under $10. They work just fine.
Its winter. Its COLD AF out. And your skin gets dry. This L’Occitaine stuff is THE BOMB. I’m a 90s baby, I say things like this, deal with it. Its got a huge cult following that I wasn’t buying, until I got a sample of this baby. Its the real deal, and perfect for the winter months.
There you have it – all the shit you need to survive Black Friday, the holiest of shopping days. What else gets you all through the biggest shopping day? Let me know!
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