Spoiler Alert: October already sucks

We are barely in it and this month is garbage – here’s some tips on how to calm the eff down

Taking a break from our regularly scheduled trend Tuesday for some sanity saving advice.*

LITERALLY 10 days in and this month is GARBAGE. Its cold, there was a horrific attack in Las Vegas, and Tom Petty died of a heart attack. Mind you, all of this occurred within less than 48 hours. 2017 keeps topping 2016 in the how to suck the most contest, and we have 3 more months to go, space cadets.  WHAT THE HELL.

Listen, politics aside, putting the news on lately for me has been emotionally draining.  I can’t watch it for more than 5 minutes without wanting to punch a wall or burst into tears.  Mother nature is trying to destroy us, and is taking no prisoners.  I am sure quite a few of you are feeling the same way, and tha’ts ok.  What is not ok, is not taking care of yourself. Here’s some ways I’m unwinding and dealing with the crap shoot that is life in America currently.

Unplug.

Get. Off. Social. Media.  Take a break. Look around. Listen to me, I’m a millennial and my phone is permanently attached to my hand. But sometimes disconnecting is a good thing. I have been following my own advice here because it took me LITERALLY DAYS to write this post. I needed a break, and that’s ok.

Exercise.

A wise, wise woman once said “exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands.  They just don’t.” Even if exercise doesn’t bring you to a euphoric, happy place, it is still a nice distraction from the hell that is reality.  Also, working out means you can eat more. Wins all around.

Treat yo’ self.

Far be it from me to tell someone not to treat yourself, for any reason.  But hey – whether its a nice meal, jewelry, clothes, a vacation, buying something will make you feel better. So long as you don’t think about the money exchange involved. Or, if you’re broke like me, a binge of some Bravo show will do.

 
Take care of your skin and shit. 

Nothing is better than an at home spa night. No awkward small talk and you don’t need to put pants on to leave. You can’t lose. Here’s some products I use to treat m’self.


Masks – Mask of Magnaminty by Lush and green clay mask by Sephora. Mask of magnaminty literally smells like mint chocolate chip ice cream. It’s heaven. And makes your skin amazing. The Sephora one is bomb too – I love all the Sephora brand masks but have been loving this clay mask lately. I also prefer the clay masks over the sheet masks. They tend to cover more and do a better job. My skin sucks, so this helps.

Bath bomb – Frozen by Lush. It’s no secret that Lush is known for their bath bombs. I have used a few and have no complaints. Literally fill up the tub, drop it in, and put that shit on your insta story. They smell great and are also great for your skin. I just try to stay clear of the glitter ones because I don’t want to look like Tinkerbell for days on end.

Candle – Oceanside by Bath and Body works. I’m personally partial to ocean and tropical smelling candles, because I am not made for winter. Candles seem to have a calming force and also don’t need to cost an arm and a leg.

Essential oil – Balance by Aromatherapy Blends. It’s got a nice orange/lavender scent and also calms me. See a trend here? I work in NYC, I need a lot of shit that brings me down to earth. I put a few drops on my pillow only my wrists and just inhale. It helps.

Lipgloss – Dior Addict Lip Glow Color Revier Balm. This is the only lip stuff in my life I have ever finished a tube of. And then promptly bought a new one. It’s worth the price point, and take that for someone who searches for sales and refuses to pay retail. It adjusts to your natural lip color so you don’t look ridiculous and is also SO MOISTURIZING. Cold weather is upon us muffins, take care of your lippies. Plus, it’s soooo pretty. Look at it.

 
And there you have it. Long story short: spoil and take care of yourselves. What’s your favorite way to distract yourself? Let me know, because lord knows we all don’t have enough distractions.
 
*OK OK OK – two weeks in a row probably doesn’t count for regularly scheduled, but roll with me here.

Trend Tuesday: the pin craze that was cool in middle school is back

Every Tuesday I’ll discuss current trends: the good, the bad, and the god awful.

Remember in middle school when you had that goth/punk phase and you had pins with quotes on them all over your bag and jackets? No? Just me? Ok. Cool. Anyway….

WHAT ARE THESE THINGS: Adorable enamel pins with the likeness of everything you can imagine. These cute little things are back – and improved! These new shops are probably popping up all over your instagram feed as often as Kylie pregnancy conspiracy theories. Basically anything you love or have ever loved, someone has made into a pin. From cartoons to cult films to a cute one I found of a La Croix can, if you love it, it’s in pin form.

WHERE TO PUT THEM: I personally have mine on a mini backpack.  I’ve seen people put them on denim jackets, backpacks, and cork boards for starters.  So really, have at it! Throw them on your gym bag to add something different to that all black tote.  Add a few cute ones to your cubical at work to remind you of your will to live.

WHERE TO FIND THEM: Instead of just going to your local Hot Topic, you can hop on Etsy and find some that better suit your adult interests.  Go on insta and search any pin hashtag or whatever interests you and you’re bound to run into something, and add a little color to your wardrobe or accessories. If you’re like me, your soul is still black, but your outsides are a little brighter.  Kind of.  Ok listen my wardrobe is mostly black but I live in New York so thats our uniform, ok? I’ll link some of the sellers I’ve found that I love here, and on my Insta!

SOME I OWN:

LOOK – ITS JOEY AND CHANDLER IN THE CANOE!


And because I am a closeted  geek – some Harry Potter ones.

These are just a few of the ones I’ve collected/impulse bought at 1am. A lot of these companies are also bringing back stickers, iron on patches, and the like.  So if the pins aren’t your jam, I’m sure you’ll be able to find something else you love.

Have you found any of these adorable little pins that you love? What would YOU like to see turned into a pin? It could be a movie quote, your favorite GOT character (idk, I don’t watch), a throwback to a cartoon, whatever. Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 

Trend Tuesdays:WTF is up with the stick on freckles?!

Every Tuesday I’ll discuss current trends: the good, the bad, and the god awful.

Remember the times growing up I would PRAY for my freckles to go away? Or the times when I was MERCIFULLY TEASED because I have freckles covering my face and arms? And for once, I am not exaggerating when I say COVERED. (Spoiler alert: kids are MEAN AF).

But NOW the new thing is stick on freckles….

Stick on freckles. Stick. On. Freckles.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS THIS?!

Recap: for the majority of my almost 30 years on this earth, my freckles were things I would try to get rid of and were not viewed as something that was conventionally beautiful. And now they’re a god damn beauty trend.


Look at this – it’s even being marketed as “the new makeup”. This is pretty much the equivalent of wearing colored contacts. Everyone knows you’re faking it, its usually horribly obvious, is it really worth it? And as if it wasn’t obnoxious as it is, they come in metallic versions. So you can look like you are going to a festival all the time. K.

Apparently they work in a similar manner to temporary tattoos. I say apparently, because as I have natural GOD GIVEN freckles, I have no need for these (for the record, NO ONE DOES). They last for 24-48 hours (or more if you don’t wash your face for a while – I’m not here to judge).  The kicker? These things run for $15-$25! You know what you can get with that money instead? A lot of Starbucks, for starters.

My final thoughts: if Mother Nature didn’t give you these face stars, trying to fake it isn’t a good look.

Unpopular opinion: I hate the fall

Now, I love boots and sweaters just as much as any basic bitch (remember that before you crucify me).  But the season itself? I can do without. So. Before you make me turn in my basic white girl card, hear me out.

You never really know what to wear.

It’s freezing in the morning, and by the time noon hits your clothes are drenched with sweat and you look like a drowned rat. Does this actually sound like fun to anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Didn’t think so. Mother Nature is too indecisive for me to enjoy this season. 

PSL/pumpkin spice everything is over rated. 

There. I said it. If you actually like PSL, you’re a liar. That sugary concoction is also a lie, as it contains no trace of real pumpkin. It’s a bunch of chemicals and it tastes like popurri. Not to mention, the pumpkin spice craze has gone TOO FAR when there’s PSL scented body wash. Too. Far.

Fall means summer is over. 

DO YOU ALL HATE THE BEACH AND SUNSHINE SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO RUSH THROUGH IT FOR MEDICORE WEATHER?! Also it gets dark earlier. What is wrong with you people?!

Leaves are crunchy until it rains…

And then they become soggy and gross and slippery. Ever wipe out on some wet leaves? It’s more embarrassing than you think. Trust me.

Apple picking. 

You go and you leave with three bags of apples because you’re all excited about the Instagrams you can post during and the fact that it’s a “fall activity”. But then you’re stuck with three bags of apples. No one can eat that many before they go bad and you get fruit flies.

Fall means winter is coming. 

And no, that’s not a GOT reference (but feel free to leave gratituois pictures of Kit Harington in the comments). If anyone of you have experienced a northeast winter, you understand me. It’s miserable and lasts forever. And for those of you who live in NYC know that no one ever shovels properly and the snow turns into black slush a day later and it’s DISGUSTING.
So. There you have it. Fall is over rated. I really need to move to California.
Xoxo sweet and snarky

Cliche inspiration post

Finally, my first blog post.

I really had to dig deep to write this post, and had to go back to what inspired me to want to blog in the first place.  Its something I have been wanting to do for a while, but life/law school/procrastination kept getting in the way. As you can tell, its been a tough road getting here.

So, here’s a list of shit that inspires me on the regular:

  • Funny chicks like Amy Schumer, who are unapologetically themselves
  • The entire writing staff of betches.com
  • The fact that the Kardashians make millions by literally existing
  • My corporate job that pays the bills and treats me well but stifles my creativity
  • The Skimm and its founders – they left their corporate jobs and have built a little empire
  • My wonderful side hustlin’ friends

…just to name a few. But enough sappy – in the weeks to come we will discuss my dating life (or lack thereof), cult workouts, my shopping problem and the wonderful things it brings me, and reality TV. And by we, I of course mean me talking at you. This is a blog, not a gchat convo.

What inspires you? It doesn’t have to inspire you to do big things, either. It can be as simple as what inspired you to not walk out of your job today, or get out of bed.  Not all of us are saving lives here, and that’s totally ok. You don’t want me in the operating room, trust me.  So – let me know what keeps you inspired – it might just inspire me to not punch someone today.