Now, I love boots and sweaters just as much as any basic bitch (remember that before you crucify me). But the season itself? I can do without. So. Before you make me turn in my basic white girl card, hear me out.
You never really know what to wear.
It’s freezing in the morning, and by the time noon hits your clothes are drenched with sweat and you look like a drowned rat. Does this actually sound like fun to anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Didn’t think so. Mother Nature is too indecisive for me to enjoy this season.
PSL/pumpkin spice everything is over rated.
There. I said it. If you actually like PSL, you’re a liar. That sugary concoction is also a lie, as it contains no trace of real pumpkin. It’s a bunch of chemicals and it tastes like popurri. Not to mention, the pumpkin spice craze has gone TOO FAR when there’s PSL scented body wash. Too. Far.
Fall means summer is over.
DO YOU ALL HATE THE BEACH AND SUNSHINE SO MUCH THAT YOU HAVE TO RUSH THROUGH IT FOR MEDICORE WEATHER?! Also it gets dark earlier. What is wrong with you people?!
Leaves are crunchy until it rains…
And then they become soggy and gross and slippery. Ever wipe out on some wet leaves? It’s more embarrassing than you think. Trust me.
You go and you leave with three bags of apples because you’re all excited about the Instagrams you can post during and the fact that it’s a “fall activity”. But then you’re stuck with three bags of apples. No one can eat that many before they go bad and you get fruit flies.
Fall means winter is coming.
And no, that’s not a GOT reference (but feel free to leave gratituois pictures of Kit Harington in the comments). If anyone of you have experienced a northeast winter, you understand me. It’s miserable and lasts forever. And for those of you who live in NYC know that no one ever shovels properly and the snow turns into black slush a day later and it’s DISGUSTING.
So. There you have it. Fall is over rated. I really need to move to California.
Xoxo sweet and snarky