IDK why – but some high end designers are trying to sell you some ordinary shit but call it fancy and charge you the blood of your enemies and your firstborn child. Listen, I’ll sell my soul for a Celine trapeze bag, but like, everyday shit? You better believe I am looking for a sale. I’m not trying to go broke over here, even if my spending habits say otherwise. And that’s just for things I need – like food, work clothes so I don’t look like a hobo, student loan bills despite my lack of use of my degrees, etc. But like, things I will neverrrr use? Forget it. Especially when its like, things I would throw away. Why are we wasting money and resources on this? Let’s take a look at this questionable design choices.
Ah, Tiffany’s. The jewelry choice of every middle school girl in the 2000’s. Everyone and their mother had those “Please return to Tiffany’s” tag bracelets. The brand has evolved since then, and now it includes what they are calling “Everyday Objects”. Its exactly how it sounds – they are normal things, not very special. Except the price tag.
Check this out. Here is a crazy straw. Yes, it is very different than the ones you get in a 12 pack for little kid birthday parties goodie bags (side note – can we get an adult version of those?). BUT WHO IS PAYING $250 FOR THESE?! Not rhetorical, I want to know if you’ve purchased this. So we can be friends/get married. You know, casual. See where things go. On the other hand, I can almost get behind this. Its whimsy, its cute. A nice conversation starter. Not very useful.
Ah look, an ice cream scoop. That costs $375. I’m not cheap, but if I’m paying that much for an ice cream scoop, it better come with unlimited Halo Top for life. Also, if we are friends and you put this on your wedding registry, so help you god.
BUT – IT GETS BETTER. Or worse, depending on your perspective.
Yup. Its a protractor. A fucking. $425. Protractor. Now, other than elementary school kids and maybe architects, IDK who is using these things. If you are an architect, then maybe this is a cute gift. If you are buying this for your 3rd grader, I am judging the shit out of you.
There are more of these, but this was all I could emotionally handle. Check them out for yourself and let me know which is your favorite, or the worst one, if they’re not the same.
Now, Moschino has been a favorite fashion house of mine. They have been whismy as well in recent collections, and their play on McDonald’s I thought was super cute and fun. Their runway looks are always a highlight of any fashion week, and I envy all their RTW that I see on every housewives show. Looking at you, Erica Jane. But THIS, this is not ok.
Yes, this is a dress that looks like a dry-cleaning bag. Its being sold for the small price of almost $900. What could have been just a nice runway look, they are now trying to make happen. Stop trying to make fetch happen Moschino, its not going to happen. Let us also note that this comes with no slip. You are literally buying a dry-cleaning bag, and that’s it.
If that is just a tad out of your price range, you always have this option. Which essentially is a black dress that looks like its trying to strangle you with a dry cleaning hanger. Cute.
If anyone has tried these on, or even better, purchased any of these, let me know in the comments. So we can be friends. Because clearly you have a lot of disposable income, and I have a lot of debt.