Trend Tuesday: designers are trying to sell you ordinary things and it’s BS

Designers are trying to oversell you on crap you already have in your home.

Advertisements

IDK why – but some high end designers are trying to sell you some ordinary shit but call it fancy and charge you the blood of your enemies and your firstborn child.  Listen, I’ll sell my soul for a Celine trapeze bag, but like, everyday shit? You better believe I am looking for a sale. I’m not trying to go broke over here, even if my spending habits say otherwise.  And that’s just for things I need – like food, work clothes so I don’t look like a hobo, student loan bills despite my lack of use of my degrees, etc.  But like, things I will neverrrr use? Forget it.  Especially when its like, things I would throw away.  Why are we wasting money and resources on this? Let’s take a look at this questionable design choices.

Tiffany’s

Ah, Tiffany’s.  The jewelry choice of every middle school girl in the 2000’s. Everyone and their mother had those “Please return to Tiffany’s” tag bracelets.  The brand has evolved since then, and now it includes what they are calling “Everyday Objects”.  Its exactly how it sounds – they are normal things, not very special. Except the price tag.

Check this out.  Here is a crazy straw.  Yes, it is very different than the ones you get in a 12 pack for little kid birthday parties goodie bags (side note – can we get an adult version of those?). BUT WHO IS PAYING $250 FOR THESE?! Not rhetorical, I want to know if you’ve purchased this. So we can be friends/get married.  You know, casual. See where things go.  On the other hand, I can almost get behind this. Its whimsy, its cute. A nice conversation starter. Not very useful.

Ah look, an ice cream scoop.  That costs $375.  I’m not cheap, but if I’m paying that much for an ice cream scoop, it better come with unlimited Halo Top for life.  Also, if we are friends and you put this on your wedding registry, so help you god.

BUT – IT GETS BETTER. Or worse, depending on your perspective.

Yup. Its a protractor.  A fucking. $425. Protractor.  Now, other than elementary school kids and maybe architects, IDK who is using these things.  If you are an architect, then maybe this is a cute gift.  If you are buying this for your 3rd grader, I am judging the shit out of you.

There are more of these, but this was all I could emotionally handle. Check them out for yourself and let me know which is your favorite, or the worst one, if they’re not the same.

Moschino

Now, Moschino has been a favorite fashion house of mine.  They have been whismy as well in recent collections, and their play on McDonald’s I thought was super cute and fun. Their runway looks are always a highlight of any fashion week, and I envy all their RTW that I see on every housewives show.  Looking at you, Erica Jane. But THIS, this is not ok.

Yes, this is a dress that looks like a dry-cleaning bag.  Its being sold for the small price of almost $900. What could have been just a nice runway look, they are now trying to make happen.  Stop trying to make fetch happen Moschino, its not going to happen. Let us also note that this comes with no slip.  You are literally buying a dry-cleaning bag, and that’s it.

If that is just a tad out of your price range, you always have this option.  Which essentially is a black dress that looks like its trying to strangle you with a dry cleaning hanger. Cute.

If anyone has tried these on, or even better, purchased any of these, let me know in the comments. So we can be friends.  Because clearly you have a lot of disposable income, and I have a lot of debt.

Trend Tuesday: the pin craze that was cool in middle school is back

Every Tuesday I’ll discuss current trends: the good, the bad, and the god awful.

Remember in middle school when you had that goth/punk phase and you had pins with quotes on them all over your bag and jackets? No? Just me? Ok. Cool. Anyway….

WHAT ARE THESE THINGS: Adorable enamel pins with the likeness of everything you can imagine. These cute little things are back – and improved! These new shops are probably popping up all over your instagram feed as often as Kylie pregnancy conspiracy theories. Basically anything you love or have ever loved, someone has made into a pin. From cartoons to cult films to a cute one I found of a La Croix can, if you love it, it’s in pin form.

WHERE TO PUT THEM: I personally have mine on a mini backpack.  I’ve seen people put them on denim jackets, backpacks, and cork boards for starters.  So really, have at it! Throw them on your gym bag to add something different to that all black tote.  Add a few cute ones to your cubical at work to remind you of your will to live.

WHERE TO FIND THEM: Instead of just going to your local Hot Topic, you can hop on Etsy and find some that better suit your adult interests.  Go on insta and search any pin hashtag or whatever interests you and you’re bound to run into something, and add a little color to your wardrobe or accessories. If you’re like me, your soul is still black, but your outsides are a little brighter.  Kind of.  Ok listen my wardrobe is mostly black but I live in New York so thats our uniform, ok? I’ll link some of the sellers I’ve found that I love here, and on my Insta!

SOME I OWN:

LOOK – ITS JOEY AND CHANDLER IN THE CANOE!


And because I am a closeted  geek – some Harry Potter ones.

These are just a few of the ones I’ve collected/impulse bought at 1am. A lot of these companies are also bringing back stickers, iron on patches, and the like.  So if the pins aren’t your jam, I’m sure you’ll be able to find something else you love.

Have you found any of these adorable little pins that you love? What would YOU like to see turned into a pin? It could be a movie quote, your favorite GOT character (idk, I don’t watch), a throwback to a cartoon, whatever. Let me know in the comments!

 

 

 

Trend Tuesdays:WTF is up with the stick on freckles?!

Every Tuesday I’ll discuss current trends: the good, the bad, and the god awful.

Remember the times growing up I would PRAY for my freckles to go away? Or the times when I was MERCIFULLY TEASED because I have freckles covering my face and arms? And for once, I am not exaggerating when I say COVERED. (Spoiler alert: kids are MEAN AF).

But NOW the new thing is stick on freckles….

Stick on freckles. Stick. On. Freckles.

WHAT IN THE FRESH HELL IS THIS?!

Recap: for the majority of my almost 30 years on this earth, my freckles were things I would try to get rid of and were not viewed as something that was conventionally beautiful. And now they’re a god damn beauty trend.


Look at this – it’s even being marketed as “the new makeup”. This is pretty much the equivalent of wearing colored contacts. Everyone knows you’re faking it, its usually horribly obvious, is it really worth it? And as if it wasn’t obnoxious as it is, they come in metallic versions. So you can look like you are going to a festival all the time. K.

Apparently they work in a similar manner to temporary tattoos. I say apparently, because as I have natural GOD GIVEN freckles, I have no need for these (for the record, NO ONE DOES). They last for 24-48 hours (or more if you don’t wash your face for a while – I’m not here to judge).  The kicker? These things run for $15-$25! You know what you can get with that money instead? A lot of Starbucks, for starters.

My final thoughts: if Mother Nature didn’t give you these face stars, trying to fake it isn’t a good look.